Right. Generally I discuss some issue here but this week’s format will be slightly different. I intend to discuss a number of things that have been on my mind, looking at some of the most underrated and overrated things going, while pointing out any important nuisances or grievances on the way. Two reasons for this, one, because I think it might make a nice change and be marginally less boring and two, because, in fact, I can. Here goes:
Living beyond your means
Massively underrated. I love living beyond my means, it is in fact a quintessential part of student life. As I have no substantial monthly income (bear in mind loans don’t count) I am constantly living beyond my means, as are probably most of you out there. And let’s be honest, it’s pretty bloody brilliant. If you don’t live beyond your means as a student you do one of two things: sit in front of the tv and never go out or buy anything or work all hours god sends. Us living-beyond-our-means types on quite the other hand get to buy all manner of useless possessions and drink till we forget how little we have left in the bank. Truly, ‘tis the life of kings.
Lidl Condoms
One of my little worries in life this. If there are two things in life that you want to be completely and utterly reliable, one would think that it would be your parachute and your condoms. Personally, I wouldn’t buy my parachute from Lidl. Now, granted, no condom is ever going to be 100% unbreakable. As much as a method of contraception might have a good reputation they always have the little disclaimer that is enough to deflate the most thoughtless of us at the crucial moment: the reminder that this just might lead to a little, smelly, screaming human being hanging around your feet for the next eighteen years. Really though, if it comes to choosing between Lidl’s imported Eastern European condoms and a good old pack of Durex, I’d stump up the extra 50p every time. Mind you, s’pose it’s better than using a sweet wrapper. Or a sock.
Short people with umbrellas
Short people with umbrellas. I just want to say it twice so that everyone understands the menace that these people are to the fully-grown adult society. If you happen to be around about six-two, what you’ll probably have noticed is that short people’s umbrellas come up to about your face. Now it may be that short people just can’t see over their super-sized umbrellas, or it may be that they are all pursuing their undersized vendetta against the less vertically challenged of us in society. Yet I find that they seem to have a disturbing habit of finding my face with their specially sharpened little barbs. I suppose we’ll never know what really is going on, but I have a feeling I may have more umbrella-based injuries in the future. I’m sorry, my squat friends, somebody just had to say it.
Walking home in the rain when drunk
Absolutely one of the most under-rated life affirming things you can do. Why not do it when you’re sober, I hear you cry. Why? Because I’d notice how wet I was getting, worry about being cold and never enjoy the experience. Every last drenching step, jumping in puddles and enjoying the numbing sensation of driving rain on my extremities and actually not caring a single tiny bit. Not even a little bit. It’s bloody brilliant really. And then getting home leaving a trail of water all the way to my bedroom and collapsing in bed, wet, cold, but ultimately, happy. One point for you, don’t do it too often ‘cause you’ll catch a cold.
Proofreading
If you are reading this and understanding it then that is entirely the work of our lovely proofreading team deciphering my poor spelling and mis-spellchecked (that’s one for the proofreaders, you see) verbiage. Because I absolutely hate proofing anything, as my colleagues will undoubtedly tell you. It is the most appallingly mind-numbing thing in the world, including daytime television. And I’m really really rubbish at it. Proofers are an unappreciated thing in this business but let me tell you now I love you guys. Not like that though.
You won’t like this, but I think that Facebook is overrated. Granted, it’s only a certain amount of time before I join it but still. Overrated. Oooh controversial. Well that’s what I’m here for. Direct your letters of complaint to gairrhydd towers along with the rest of the Welsh community from a week or so ago. Thing is a few years ago if you spent your entire life inside on the computer talking to your friends online you’d have been branded a complete and utter loser, the type who writes letters into newspapers, for instance. Yet these days spending your life online, along with stalking people via the internet, is considered a socially acceptable past-time all thanks to that god-forsaken creation that is Facebook. And everything these days happens over it as well. It’s so very dull. Plus the ultimate let down… an online Facebook present on Valentine’s day. Yes, I know people who did that. It wasn’t me either. Nothing good can come of Facebook. Fact, that is.
Cereal
Food of great people. Food of busy people. Food for people who just can’t be bothered to cook. Up there with pasta as the best foods ever. Yet massively underrated. There is simply nothing like the wonder of chilled cow juice over some sort of oat based snack to fill that gap in between breakfast (which is cereal) and lunch (normally pasta). And the beauty is it also functions as a main meal at any other time of the day, say dinner, or supper, or a post drinking munchies session. Long live cereal, and bless you Mr. Kellogg for meaning I don’t ever have to cook.
Halifax Adverts
Does anyone out there actually still like these? I liked Howard, the first chap who covered Welsh legend Tom Jones’ sex bomb. He was, to say the least, a bit nifty. The latest offering on quite the other hand however is a not particularly great looking chubby woman with a voice that is in fact nothing other than pretty crap. And to top it all she sings an extremely dodgy song, so unremarkable in fact is this song that I can’t remember what it was a rip-off of. Halifax, two words for you. Stop it.
Being a University Snob
Great fun this. I know that it’s not necessarily, ‘fair’ or ‘right’ or any other of those annoying normative statements but it is funny. Cardiff may not be the best university in the world but it ain’t half bad and if you can take it I see no good reason for you not to dish it out. With such prime targets locally as Glamorgan, Swansea and UWE in the locality the situation could not be much better for some easy slating either. I just regret the fact that university building policies in the 1970s were deemed to expensive. Fancy a trip to the University of Slough, anyone?
1. aisling
Proofreaders need more love, I think.
Especially when people abuse semi-colons.