Keeping the faith, Keeping the facial hair

Issue 855

It’s fair to say, as I make my way through Stansted Airport towards the metal detectors and glorified bouncers patrolling them, that I really don’t want to be searched.

I’ve never enjoyed being touched up by the (usually) male attendant who is (always) the size of a brick shithouse. And, without wanting to go into too much detail, I’ve developed a nasty bit of food poisoning involving waterfalls at both ends, so I don’t relish being poked and prodded too much either.

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Whatever happened to Road safety?

Issue 855

Seriously, what happened to it?

I don’t expect university students to remember much from the PC Plod lectures everyone gets in primary school – all “find a safe space to cross the road” and looking right, left and right again because a car might have turned up while you were looking left (which means technically you’d be there forever) – but it’d be nice if they weren’t quite so suicidal on the crossroads outside the Law building. Freedom of movement is lovely, but there’s no need to abuse that right by acting like a lemon. Or, indeed, a lemming.

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