I’ve been out of the country for a while now, and I can’t help but suspect that the Daily Mail’s crusade against the crumbling social fabric of this country might not be that far off the mark.
Example one: In Canada, it’s considered standard practice to keep your clothes on if it gets hot on trains. Not true for the bloke on the 1532 to Paddington service from Ealing Broadway this morning, who saw fit to stand in complete NAKEDNESS (aside from his socks) for a while, before finally putting some boxers on, playing with his moobs and rubbing lotion onto himself.
Far worse, the following happened to a work colleague of my sister a few weeks ago (which, incidentally, she failed to see as nothing more than an ‘amusing incident’.) After enjoying the Physical Act Of Love, her boyfriend rolled over and said ‘right then, I’ll turn the webcam off’. First she’d ever heard of it. True story.
Marginally better, but not happening to me and so therefore less interesting: my sister was in a cinema (admittedly in Essex, but that’s not the point), while a couple down the row had sex.
Now, I’m not saying that Canadians were paragons of virtue. One of them threw a cat at me because I refused to split the profits on her drunk vomit. But it’s easy to understate how mental this country can be at times, and not in the good way.
I’m not entirely sure what my point is (if that’s not become clear by now then you’re evidently not focusing on the words). But for the love of God, stop drinking so much and start being normal before we all go to hell in a handbasket.
Now abuse some immigrants, bloody well sit up straight, and if you’re a woman, stand around in some M&S underwear for a bit. This country’s not going to fix itself.
