Whatever happened to Annie Mac?
Cardiff University’s official Summer Ball warm-up party, held in Solus last Wednesday, suffered a significant blow when Radio 1 DJ and English Literature Master’s graduate Annie Mac, scheduled to be at the mixing desk, was forced to pull out. Rumours abound that she was kidnapped by spurned Xfm DJs, or that she was sacked after suggesting that mixing Song 2 into a set is not a sign of musical genius (someone should tell “our favourite Union DJs” that before they play the Summer Ball).
A more likely reason, though, is the one that has been given: “other commitments”. And that’s fair enough. I wouldn’t want to cast aspersion on what other commitments Annie Mac might have.
A sham of an exam
It was revealed recently that pupils sitting a GCSE Music exam were surprised when they found the answers to some of the questions printed on the back of the paper. To me, the shock there is that they were surprised.
News of mistakes in school and university exam papers is becoming worryingly common. Obviously, it’s still a small percentage of exams that are condemned to a question-setter with a bad memory/limited intelligence/a strange sense of humour, and certainly, many people would argue that no one is infallible, everyone is entitled to the odd cock-up once in a while and the following column is all a big fuss over nothing. But you can equally argue that in some disciplines you just can’t afford to make mistakes. I, for one, would argue that.
Whatever happened to... this column
The time has come, I think, for me to apologise for the sheer awfulness of this side-column. Fortnight after fortnight, I struggle to think of anything applicable to the title, and rather than lamenting the passing of something once brilliant – “Whatever happened to…?”, in fact – I find myself musing/ranting/quoting The Thrills at length/writing limericks.
When I devised it I was so full of hope. What an opportunity, I thought, to wax lyrical about childhood memories, get a large student readership thinking “Ah yeah, I remember that”, and cover up my intense jealousy towards The Millword for his ‘In The Papers’ section. But it was not to be.
Bland designs
Hear that rumbling through the Students’ Union building? No, it’s not from the train line. It’s the sound of change, and soon it will be the sound of a bulldozer. Plans are afoot to renovate the Union, and – ironically, given their focus on aesthetics – they’re not pretty.
They’re big plans. So big I almost feel obligated to say, “I’m gonna blow this shit wide open”, but seeing as the plans went online last Monday, I won’t.
Whatever Happened to... The Union?
...is what people will be saying in years to come if these plans go ahead. But by now you’ve probably made up your mind that either a) it’s the end of the world as we know it (and you feel fine), b) it’s the end of the world as we know it (and you want to kill someone), or c) you couldn’t care less.
So I’ll get off my soapbox and instead look at some of the plans’ more bizarre suggestions. Those of you in the a) and b) categories might find them mildly diverting, and those of you in the c) category will just have to comfort yourselves with the fact that I haven’t just quoted an entire song by The Thrills again.
Diamonds in the dust
Being in Cardiff makes me wonder a few things. Does Cardiff Castle look anorexic when it isn’t surrounded by scaffolding? Who would win: a seagull or five pigeons? And who’s been writing on my car?
DDGAs, or Dust & Dirt Graffiti Artists, can be found anywhere where dust and dirt thrives, ready to pounce on an opportunity. Vehicles are most popular, and the sight of a mucky white van stirs them like moths to a dirty flame, but you can also see their work on windows, kitchen appliances and even text books (I think that’s called making a point).
Chekh it out
“There’s a nasty word going around called ‘should’. People say you ‘should’ do this; you ‘should’ do that. Let me tell you: you don’t have to do anything they tell you to. There’s no ‘should’ about it. Do whatever you want to do. OK? Be groovy.”
Those were the last words my A-Level English Literature teacher spoke to our class. He was, as you can probably tell, an absolute tosser. Seriously, he wore bow-ties to school, incessantly preached about how much better Eastern Europe is than England (even though he’s English and only once travelled further east than Strasbourg), and he named his son Otto. But for all its pomposity, popularity-seeking “fuck the system, man” values and inexplicable use of the word “groovy”, his little valedictory speech was right about his own subject – books. You should read whatever the hell you like.
Juvenile Journalism
“I believe in equality for everyone – except reporters and photographers.” Guess who said that. Shaw? Schopenhauer? The Millword? Nope. It was Gandhi. Well, what did he know anyway?
Prince Harry has returned from Afghanistan after his presence there was revealed by The Drudge Report, an American website apparently specialising in getting to a story first (it also broke the news of Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinski). This may seem inevitable now, but when you think about it, did you know for certain he was there? Not many people did.
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