Gair Rhydd

Far from the Maddy crowd

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The summer of 2007 has seen Britain go stark raving Madeleine. Paul Martinovic thinks it’s time to move on

Have you heard the one about Madeleine McCann? Chances are you probably have. Whether it was via text message, e-mail, or a conspiratorial whisper from a friend in the pub, there’s a strong likelihood that over the last few months you’ve heard a distinctly off-colour joke about Britain’s most famous missing person. You may even have laughed at it. If you did, congratulations – you got a chuckle out of child abduction. You are now officially a monster.

Or are you? Do you genuinely find the kidnap and possible murder of a four-year-old girl inherently hilarious? Or is it possible that you feel so suffocated by the blanket media hysteria surrounding Maddy and her parents that a silly joke, even if it is tasteless and unfunny, is a welcome release from the relentless, unwavering empathy that you are supposed to display as an upstanding member of the community? If it’s the latter, then you’re probably OK. But whatever you do, don’t tell anyone.

Heroes and extra zeroes

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Only a nation of hypocrites would revere tax-dodgers and revile hard-working immigrants. Matt Cutler warns against idolising heroes just for being British.

Patriotism is one thing that, as a nation, keeps us together as a people. However, should patriotism be as simple as supporting our fellow countryman, or should there be a more moralistic base to it? More specifically: should we still support the figureheads of Great Britain when they move abroad to avoid paying taxes in the country of their birth?

We live in a country in which the rich are taxed more. This is so that, in theory, wealth can be distributed to the poorer in our society, who do not earn as much. Perhaps it is unfair for those working hard to bring home the bacon who end up giving a proportion of their money to the slobs on benefit so commonly gracing the sofas of Trisha Goddard. Yet there seems an inconsistency when some of the people heralded as ‘Great’ Britons (excuse the pun) make an exodus from our shores and in turn break the ideals of the distribution of wealth.

Bear baiting?

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Right. You’re at home, in bed, thinking about going to that nine o’clock lecture, with a third glass of water and a second aspirin for that cracking hangover.

Let’s be honest: you aren’t going to go in, are you? So what are you going to do instead? The age-old student pastime of daytime TV. GMTV is a bit too serious, so you’ll be starting your day with Britain’s – if not the world’s – best show dedicated to conflict resolution, The Jeremy Kyle Show.