Thursday August 28, 2008
Opinion
Cardiff, disability and me · Issue 850
Opinion presents gair rhydd’s new weekly columnist Ted Shiress
Greetings. As the Students With Disabilities officer, I thought it would be useful to establish my own disability-themed column. In this, I can portray points and concerns involving disability throughout university life. I will also convey accounts of experiences and problems I and people who have written in have recently had at the university, and how I think they should be solved, or at least improved.
First off, I am trying to get action taken to improve the quality of the pavement around university buildings, because frankly, it is appalling. I am quite sure the number of cracked paving stones exceeds the number of even ones and the lack of dropped curbs is embarrassingly high. Not only is this inconvenient as I and other mobility users have to find longer and flatter routes, but it is incredibly hazardous for everyone. The general use of these pavements is immense and the majority of these people are students, some of whom may be in a rush or feeling slightly more careless than normal. Anyone could easily trip in such an environment and the fate of such a trip could be potentially lethal.
Also, has anyone noticed just how many times the pavement is dug (presumably by plumbers) on Colum Road? It seems as if at least once every fortnight there is a great blockade in the pavement and a group of men working down a hole. I am sure that in a lot of instances what they are doing is necessary and unavoidable.
However, if one is using a type of wheeled mobility device, the alternatives remain distinctly limited. You can go all the way back up the road to cross and retake the journey towards the university from the right hand side of the road. Although this may seem a long but relatively hassle free alternative, it is not. As you start to approach the end of Colum Road there is a small alley/driveway with an alarming absence of a dropped curb at either side. Admittedly, I just plough over it in my scooter. However, this is highly unsafe and I am surprised I have not caused any damage.
Unfortunately, this is a problem that cannot be solved by the university, as this is not a matter concerning its property. Therefore, I am left to persuade the council to make the necessary changes.
However, returning to the matter of this column, what is most important are your own thoughts ,as readers, from students with or without disabilities. I would be most delighted for anyone to drop me an email at shiressea@cardiff.ac.uk.
Please feel free to raise any issues you may have concerning the university and disability, or simply just to seek informal advice from me or any other individual who might be reading. I am aware there is no real forum for students with disabilities to communicate with each other and exchange thoughts, or just get to know each other. I am planning to establish something more official, but in the meantime I would welcome you to join the Students With Disabilities Facebook group I created. This can be found at http://cardiffuk.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2735976426. Please feel free to use it as much as possible.
Latest Edition
More information
Recent Comments
- Vanessa (Prostitution.)
- The loser (Student Tax Awareness Week)
- cc256 (Pink Cigarettes)
- Mark (A lower class?)
- Amy Davies (A lower class?)
- Jamie (Students Set Their Rate)
- George Kitous (Students Set Their Rate)
- Chris Mistlin (Students Set Their Rate)
- Alex Scanlan (Students Set Their Rate)
- chris (A lower class?)
Hi, I just have been looking through previous editions of this colunm and was appalled by issue 854. Yes, ‘that’ one. I mean, this is a highly-esteemed student news paper – no place for some corny sexual innuendo! I mean, ‘if’ it is true that his disability leads to sexual frustration i pity him. But if he’s been disabled all hid life he must be used to it!
To write 600 very vulgar words in the gair rhydd is extremely unacceptable!
Paula
X
Issue 867 of Gair Rhydd,
Lately this column hasn’t been an insight into disabled students at university, but a crass view of one randy drug doing student. By all accounts Ted Shiress’s life is more exciting than anyone elses in university.
No one else though, i doubt, would be given space to write an article specifically discussing the way they put a condom on, and how long it takes them to ‘erupt.’
This piece was not informative or anything, it was just disturbing and contained far too much personal information to be comfortable.
Incidentally, does this woman actually know you’ve written about your mutual sex life in the 20,000 read student newspaper?
Interesting that the only other comment on this column also seems to find it distasteful.
“20,000 read student newspaper”
Now that’s what I call optimism ;)
““20,000 read student newspaper”
Now that’s what I call optimism ;)”
Well, so the GR always claim. I don’t usually read it except someone pointed this ‘classy’ article to me.
AT LAST!! AFTER A YEAR OF TRYING I GET SOME RESPONSE!!! IT TOOK DRUGS, IT TOOK SEX, BUT FINALLY!! SUCCESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh, and, this was proof read by my ‘mutual friend’ and she said it was great!
move over carrie bradshaw…
ted shiress does, sex in the city.
here we have an opinion column, showing the trials and tribulations of the life of one student at cardiff, if it gets people talking, then i don’t see the problem.
congrats on beating me to it, you little smutbag.
‘AT LAST!! AFTER A YEAR OF TRYING I GET SOME RESPONSE!!! IT TOOK DRUGS, IT TOOK SEX, BUT FINALLY!! SUCCESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh, and, this was proof read by my ‘mutual friend’ and she said it was great!’
You’re honestly proud of that? Maybe you never got any comments because it just wasn’t very good.
This is more appropriate for an internet blog than a “credible” newspaper. Unless of course you return to writing about issues like accessibility. I don’t want to know about your sex life, just like I don’t want to know about anyone else’s sex life. Telling me that you “erupt” by having a girl put a condom on you for you leaves me feeling almost violated. Why you would take pride in writing about it quite frankly baffles me.
I think we may have inadvertently stumbled upon the latest internet sex fetish; cripple sex. Hell, I’d watch it. It’s got to be better than ‘2 girls 1 cup’, though that too had a certain charm.
Mark, a tad unjust I feel, less of the cripple crap would be appreciated. Yes, i invite my friends to use terms like that in jest, but i do not believe i have had the pleasure of meeting you, and i’m sure it’ll be some pleasure indeed.
Look, I can only rant about accessibility for so long. Part of the point of this column is to say I’m just like anyone else, i get drunk, i may experiment with weed and i may now and then crave a bit of rumpy pumpy. Yet having a disability these things are slightly different for me, and sometimes it is important to realise i am as perverted as any other 20 year old.
How do you think i feel to see attractive able-bodied guys walk into Solus alone, and walk out with some insanely attractive blonde with half her chest hanging out?? Especially as that blonde gave me a funny look as i almost tripped up on the way to the toilet an hour before??
This is why i write about such issues, and if you don’t agree, by all means don’t read it.
“How do you think i feel to see attractive able-bodied guys walk into Solus alone, and walk out with some insanely attractive blonde with half her chest hanging out?? Especially as that blonde gave me a funny look as i almost tripped up on the way to the toilet an hour before??”
Probably like every able-bodied guy who sees an attractive guy walk into Solus alone and then sees them walk out with a beautiful girl. I don’t think many people will feel sorry for you because it is an experience that the majority also endures. Yes, being disabled might give you a slightly different experience, but then again the same can be said to anyone who is fat, ugly, ginger, a dwarf etc etc.
If you want to challenge stereotypes and preconceptions then that’s fine, but a bit of journalistic class wouldn’t go amiss in trying to achieve it.
‘I thought it would be useful to establish my own disability-themed column. In this, I can portray points and concerns involving disability throughout university life. I will also convey accounts of experiences and problems I and people who have written in have recently had at the university, and how I think they should be solved, or at least improved.’
This weeks article fails to do any of that, and had it not been part of this column wouldn’t have even been put in print.
Is having sex and smoking weed not a part of student life? C’mon guys, so I wrote a riske column. It got people talking, some people don’t agree, but that’s why it’s opinion. In my opinion, people need to start seeing people with noticeable disabilities as everyone else.
Whats the big issue?
OK sex is a taboo, but just like curbs people’s eyes need to be opened to it in terms of disability.
“Is having sex and smoking weed not a part of student life? C’mon guys, so I wrote a riske column. It got people talking, some people don’t agree, but that’s why it’s opinion. In my opinion, people need to start seeing people with noticeable disabilities as everyone else.”
But everyone else doesn’t write about their premature ejaculation etc in the student newspaper.
I really do think that if this “series” is to continue then it should be moved to the lifestyle section, or to being a solely online blog, much akin to existing ones like ‘Girl with a one track mind’, as it is not news and nor is it opinion.
Well, smoking weed is not a part of my life. Having sex is, but I keep something that intimiate to myself, not share it with everyone.
My eyes are opened about disability. I have a disabled cousin. She’s a lot like me, except she’s in a wheelchair.
The last few columns haven’t really opened anyone’s eyes to disability. All they’ve really shown is that you think we should all care about every single private aspect of your life.
If you weren’t disabled, you wouldn’t have that column. You’re misusing an opportunity to discuss the many issues of being disabled to indugle in your own sordid behaviour.
Lara, you told me a few posts ago that my column originally was not very good, then you have a go at me for trying something different.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Ted, Your column isn’t very good, from what I’ve seen and descending into tacky smut doesn’t make it better.
Why didn’t you try branching out and talking about other disabled people’s experiences? You’re the disabilities officer, surely you must have some views on other disability issues apart from your own world?
To be fair Ted that remarked wasn’t exactly aimed at you, I have no desire to watch you have sex, though if you know a few attractive disabled girls we may have ourselves a niche market in an overcrowded porno world. Still, no offence intended and I apologise if it was taken.
I can appreciate you feel annoyed that when you see an able bodied chap walk out of Solus with a drunken blond slapper. However I think you should consider a few things, firstly, as Jon as said its not just the disabled blokes that face ridicule by the fairer sex but also the fat guys, ugly guys, the stereotypical nerds/geeks and even the gingers (sorry Jon). Secondly most of the girls you lust after are one step below hookers, because at least hookers charge. I’ve had many one night stands with girls so drunk they probably could they couldn’t tell the difference between me and a traffic cone and were in all certainty equally eager to fu*k either, though in my defence I was always wasted too. As Jon will testify my standards were very, very low and as long as she was of consenting and legal age I was usually age. You’re not missing anything mate, I usually felt pretty bad with myself in the morning and that was before realise I shagged a girl in the arse without even remembering her name. That’s so low it should be illegal. And what did I learn from these years of promiscuity from aged 15 to 20? That being a stupid drunken idiot with women will often lead you to one of two places, either the STD clinic at the Cardiff Royal Infirmary to have a small cocktail umbrella shoved up your co*k or to the University Hospital Wales to witness the girl who you couldn’t remember until she called you have an abortion. I assure you with deep sincerity that neither is an experience you should seek for yourself.
Thirdly of all the actual meaningful relationship I have had, and I haven’t had all that many, they’ve all come, including my current one, from introductions from mutual friends or from friendships which had grown into more. If you want what the same thing all those other ‘able bodied guys’ do and can’t find it in Solus then go and visit a brothel, there’s plenty in Cathays and Roath, the girls won’t be judgmental, look at you funny or laugh, they’ll just fuck your brains out. It’ll probably be cheaper than piling a blond tart with drinks all night long and you’d probably even retain some self-respect. If you want a meaningful relationship where you make deep, intimate and passionate love to someone you care about as opposed to just slamming a drunken valleys girls pussy and feeling awful for it in the morning.
Oh and finally work on the whole premature ejaculation thing. Regardless if you’re after sex in a relationship, one night stand or prostitute you’re wasting your time unless you sort that one out mate. And if you think you’re as perverted as any 20 year old I think your rather naïve, though that’s up to you and any prospective partner to decide if that’s a good or bad thing.
i for one would like to congratulate ted on losing the v plates. don’t pay any attention to all these guys who want to keep gair rhydd high brow – give a shit. look at tv etc, gair rhydd is so esteemed because of it’s tongue in cheek style.
keep on trucking, ted!
a.x
ted, keep up the good work – and im not just talking about the writing. thoroughly enjoyed your column this week, and i reckon if it got people reading then thats a good thing. at the end of the day ‘accessibility’ gets old. We want to hear about your real experiences, not about ramps…
cheers luc and andy… Muchos appreciated!
“Part of the point of this column is to say I’m just like anyone else, i get drunk, i may experiment with weed and i may now and then crave a bit of rumpy pumpy. Yet having a disability these things are slightly different for me, and sometimes it is important to realise i am as perverted as any other 20 year old.”
No other 20 year old feels the need to publish their sex life though.. You do all these things, and fair play for that. But the fact that you’re drawing un-neccessary attention to those things only serves to further segregate you from other 20 year olds who do not feel the need to communicate publicly the parts of their lives that are “normal”.
You have sex. You smoke weed. You get wasted.
None of this is out of the ordinary.
Gold star for you.
But then I think it’s good that Ted’s showing it’s not out of the ordinary. As important as it is that his column discusses issues of mobility, attitudes, access and the like, I think it’s reasonable to point out occasionally that disabled students are still students. The column’s not meant to be just a big cry for sympathy.
Also, both times there have been disability issues at heart: Ted experienced a fascinating change in his body when under the influence of drugs, and addressed the physical issues – difficult for some, disturbing for others – behind a man with his condition having sex. Personally, I’d have liked to see them emphasised a bit more than “Wahey, I got laid last night” but there you go. There’s still food for thought in the article.
Ted I did respond to you but said response is still apparently awaiting moderation.
Oops… was flagged up as spam it’s visible now
No need to apologise, Mark. I’ve never had any real problems with the ladies. It’s come to the stage where I don’t even have to say anything or give eye contact and I have a hot girl come over unannounced and make out with me. I’m not even joking either! They’re not even the “drunken prostitute” types that you mention, as you know that I have standards for myself.
And yes, I can testify that everything that Mark says about his experiences is true. Most times that we met for our regular pub visit, either before, during or following the lectures, he would recount to me how he had got with another girl and declared that the way forward was to just get them so rat assed that they didn’t care who they were having sex with. Each time I responded by saying that it wasn’t for me and more times than not following his recollection he would receive a text from the girl asking if he was going to be there for the abortion or that he should get himself checked.
So, I think that although a university life of promiscuity might sound fun, it is usually more trouble than it’s worth.
I knew you were a sly dog Jon! What say you put this few found horniness to the test with the Cardiff ladies? Give me a buzz, but I’m at this place until end of June so as long as notice is given I can get time of work and we can go get rat arsed. Who knows you may even get a few texts from a valleys girl asking you to go and get checked out ;-)
Still, you’re right about the university life of promiscuity, it’s certainly fun at the time but it does lead to hassle. Still, it’s still good fun at the time.
Surely if you don’t like it, don’t read it. There, now everyone’s happy.
If you all want to hear more about ‘accessibility’, then maybe you should consider the fact that sex, for some people, is an issue of accessibility.
Ted’s column is all about discussing issues that a lot of people may take for granted,like the accesibility of certain buildings, and yes, sex too.
So will the next one be about how a disabled person goes to the toilet, as that is a pressing issue and something we all take for granted?
Personally, I don’t see disabled people as being different and as Ted says he wants people to view him as being the same as everyone else. But by drawing attention to all of the difficulties he faces it only succeeds in suggesting that disabled people are different and do need special treatment. It’s a mega Catch 22 for this “opinion” series.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t look at people, be they able-bodied or disabled, and think “I wonder if they take drugs, and how they have sex etc.” For me, that is the private part of life. If you want to read about people’s sex lives and drug habits then you just go and buy a copy of Heat magazine, or whatever crap is on sale that caters for gossip.
Having sex carries issues for everyone, not just disabled people. Two perfectly able-bodied people can have difficulties with sex. Likewise, a guy with a tiny penis or an unusually large one can face difficulties. Or someone suffering from erectile disfunction or the female equivalent. We don’t hear about these in gair rhydd. So, I’m sorry, but Ted’s sex life just isn’t news worthy just because he is disabled and the only reason I see behind it being published was so that Ted could tell everyone that he had “scored”.
Disabled people are “different” in the sense that their disabilities require a certain level of attention and assistance in order for them to be able to benefit from the same opportunities that able-bodied people do – such as being able to access facilities, nightclubs etc etc. By recognising that they are “different” in this sense, however, does not mean they are being judged or deemed as “different” in the traditionally derogatory sense of the expression, it just means that their disability is, to some degree, recognised. Of course they should be treated like anyone else, however, you do need to recognise that disabled people do require a little more assistance in life. Ted’s column is all about that; it is about being a disabled student, and thus draws upon the ways in which he overcomes his disability in order to live his life like an able-bodied student. And im afraid, that does mean the obstacles one might face when having sex. Keep up the writing, this is a student publication, it’s not the Victorian period
And if anyone who isn’t necessarily disabled, but does have issues having sex, due to a “tiny penis” or an “unusually large one” then there is no reason why these problems shouldn’t be addressed and talked about within a student publication.
Discussion is healthy innit
I disagree that Ted’s issue was published just to tell the world of his achievement (which it is, as it is for anyone). If you ever read the sex issue of Quench, the accompanying magazine to Gair Rhydd, then you would have seen chock loads of smut with no context other than people just telling the world about it. Try for example the debate between spitting or swallowing after oral sex (which contained a candid and funny account of both, from a gay male).
There may be certain differences in the presentation and tone of Quench and Gair Ryhdd, but at the end of the day, these are student publications, written by students for students. Ted’s article has a message that goes beyond the relaxed approach of Quench (which is generally not a vessel for opinion pieces), and therefore it is appropriate that his experiences are published in Gair Ryhdd. At the end of the day, look at the attention it has brought to the subject, which ultimately is what he set out to do in the first place.
I do think in hindsight my column was poorly written this week, as Rasputin said it did streak of ‘wehey, i got laid’ and I accept that as a fault and appologise. I should have waited a month or so to give me time to take the banners down and get over it; then i no-doubt would have produced a better piece.
However, this is quite a debate indeed. I have to say that I think it is quite unfair that people cannot see this as anything but a celebration of finally getting laid. I addressed [ok, perhaps too graphically and less seriously than needed] the problems that many people don’t think about – the embarrassment of having to ask for a hand putting the condom on, and why not “doing any work” has its problems too. People hardly think of curbstones in terms of disability, let alone sex, and attitudes need to be changed… Why do you think i meet so many women that would love to get to know me, and be…...... wait for it…...... just a really good friend?
oh, one last point…. Can you really blame me for being rather happy about it?? As read in 854, i was clearly rather frustrated and did not know i was capable… all due to my disability. And then recently, despite nothing happening long term, i found out that a, i can ‘perform’, and b, some women do actually find me of sexual interest as well as a close friend.
Ted
On close reflection, I should have dropped the ‘Cardiff, Disability and Me’ tagline this week and gone with the headline:
SUPERTED AHEAD IN BED
“Of course they should be treated like anyone else, however, you do need to recognise that disabled people do require a little more assistance in life.”
I do recognise that. And anyone intelligent enough to be at university should recognise that. That’s the point.
“Keep up the writing, this is a student publication, it’s not the Victorian period”
I’ve no problem with Ted wanting to deal with the issues he faces, but it would be nice if it could just be done to a higher standard. I know he’s not a professional journalist, but it wouldn’t take much to make it a more insightful and useful piece.
“And if anyone who isn’t necessarily disabled, but does have issues having sex, due to a “tiny penis” or an “unusually large one” then there is no reason why these problems shouldn’t be addressed and talked about within a student publication.”
They’re not discussed in gair rhydd though are they? Maybe someone with these problems should be found and asked to do an opinion piece. My guess is that it won’t happen because an article about “the experiences of the man with the pigyn bach” wouldn’t really follow the tone of the newspaper.
“ If you ever read the sex issue of Quench, the accompanying magazine to Gair Rhydd, then you would have seen chock loads of smut with no context other than people just telling the world about it.”
That’s a lifestyle magazine though, not something that is reporting the news.
“Why do you think i meet so many women that would love to get to know me, and be…...... wait for it…...... just a really good friend?”
And yes, it sucks. But, it’s something that many men go through, myself included. The rejection you might feel is only the same as the rejection as able-bodied guys get too. Yes, a disability might be a shallow reason to reject someone, but at the end of the day it is just one reason on a big list of reasons that I imagine everyone will experience at some point in their life.
“oh, one last point…. Can you really blame me for being rather happy about it?? As read in 854, i was clearly rather frustrated and did not know i was capable… all due to my disability. And then recently, despite nothing happening long term, i found out that a, i can ‘perform’, and b, some women do actually find me of sexual interest as well as a close friend.”
Good for you. I don’t blame you for being happy about it. I just would have thought that it would be a very personal thing for you and you wouldn’t necessarily want to advertise it in the way that you have in the student newspaper.
Anyway, that’s all I’m going to say on it now. Best of luck with any future experiences, Ted.
Huw, that took you nearly 2 weeks, oh dear.
:P
“That’s a lifestyle magazine though, not something that is reporting the news.”
- but this is a column; it’s meant to be personal, you are supposed to feel like you are getting to know the writer as the weeks progress, whilst being informed about various issues at the same time.
Maybe the answer would be to put this column in Quench, but then I think it does address serious enough issues to warrant its place in Gair rhydd, even if it is a bit smutty at times.
But, anyway, i agree, Jon, we have quite exhausted this debate. And thanks Ted for inspiring all of this… its given me an excuse not to write essays.
I’m not disabled, but i am a Cardiff Uni student. I love reading Ted’s column, it’s one of the reasons i get the GR (which translates literally to “FREE WORD”). I’ve had the pleasure of meeting him too and he is a great man, and not just because he is disabled.
Get over yourselves guys, it’s a student newspaper. Seen some of the agony aunt letters? What the hell are the all about?
I wish I was as cool as Ted
Me too.
“he is a great man, and not just because he is disabled”
Is that one of those things you type and then immediately regret typing afterwards?
Similar to all those people who voted for you, Jonny, eh?
Probably, but fortunately for us its too late to take it back eh….!